Chasing My Losses
As I walked through a strip casino I passed the craps tables and noticed a show girl standing there wearing her outfit and hat. I walked up to her and asked, “I’m curious, is your hat heavy?” She replied, “Yes, it’s very heavy.” Then in a sultry voice she asked, “Do you want to play craps?” I obediently nodded my head yes and in a meek voice I said, “OK”. Within 30 minutes I lost $600 on that craps table. Then I went full tilt. Trying to chase my losses I went into the High Limit room (without the showgirl) and tried playing blackjack. In an hour I lost $5,400; so in 90 minutes I lost a total of $6,000. This is not the worse gambling loss I’ve ever suffered but it ranks right up there.
Date: August 14, 2010 @ 1:18pm PST
She Could’ve Stolen The Money By Denying She Got It
I sauntered up to a video poker game and pulled out a hundred dollar bill to insert into the machine. Being an addicted smokeless tobacco user with a hit already in my mouth, I was looking around for a spit cup. A casino cleaning lady asked me if she could help me and I asked for a cup to use. She very promptly retrieved a cup for me and I tipped her a dollar.
I sat down and was fixing to beat this machine mercilessly. As I fed the hundred dollar bill into the machine I saw it was really a one dollar bill. My brain started chanting shit… shit… shit… as I realized what I did.
I spied the cleaning lady over in the sports book area talking to a man sitting at the bar. I made a bee line over there and as she saw me galloping toward her, without saying a word, she reached into her shirt pocket and handed me the $100. I thanked her and tipped her a $20.
Date: August 1, 2010 @ 12:04am PST
Black Is Bad Luck
I was dealing double deck blackjack to a man in his 30’s; he was good looking with black hair and he was the only person playing out of his entire group of friends. The friends were sitting at the table watching him play and cheering him on because he had been winning for a while; he had stacks and stacks of green chips in front of him. I was down to the last of my green chips in the rack so on his next winning hand I tried to pay him with a black chip. He got so mad he wouldn’t touch it and he demanded that I pay him in green. I told him I was running out of green and I needed to pay him in black. He said that black was bad luck and he told me to call my floorman over. So I called over the floorman, Cory and the player demanded that he get paid in green chips. Cory looked at my rack and saw how low I was on green chips and then he saw how many green chips the player had and he said, “No, she is paying you in black.” The player was furious, “No! You order more green chips! Put a fill on the table!” “I’m not going to put a fill on the table when you are going to have to color up sometime soon and I won’t do a credit. So since you can’t walk away with all of those greens you can either color up or leave it all behind.” Cory said frustrated. The player pushed all of his chips to me and said, “Color me up, I’m leaving. This table turned into bad luck anyway.” So I colored him up, he left and we were so thrilled the asshole was gone.
∾ Heather 2007
Date: July 21, 2010 @ 12:46pm PST
The general consensus on all table side bets is that they are sucker bets. I really like the blackjack side bet called Lucky Ladies. It’s played on a double deck or 6 deck shoes. You win anytime you have a natural 20. The payoff increases exponentially with suited 20’s, matching suited 20’s etc. all the way up to having a pair of Queen of hearts, (Lucky Ladies), which pays 200:1 odds (not all Lucky Ladies have this payoff, but the ones I search out do). If the dealer has a blackjack and you have the Lucky Ladies it pays 1,000:1.
The wife and I were playing together at a casino that had the max payout for Lucky Ladies. We were playing $5 on the side bet and my wife gets the Lucky Ladies. She’s literally bouncing up and down like a jack-in-the-box, uttering animal like sounds. The dealer, a kindly elderly gentleman, had a sly smile and twinkle in his eye as he takes his finger and points to the Ace for his up card. “Insurance”, he asks. My wife had not grasped that if the dealer had a natural blackjack she would win $5,000. Dealer turns over his hole card and shows a nine. She was still elated at winning a $1,000 and tipped the dealer handsomely.
Date: July 15, 2010 @ 11:58am PST
If It Worked Before, It Should Work Again
I was dealing single deck blackjack when a woman sat down and changed $100. After playing for 5 minutes it was obvious to me that she was new to blackjack and had no idea what she was doing. I tried to be nice and tell her how to play but she insisted on playing her way, which was fine with me. My gambling motto has always been “It’s your money; you earned it, so you can spend it however you please.” The woman at the table told me, “I started playing yesterday morning; before that I had never played blackjack before. My husband received a blackjack tournament invitation and he didn’t want to play so he gave his ticket to me. I played my way yesterday in the tournament and won 1st place, so I want to keep playing my way. It worked in the tournament so it will work here.” I didn’t argue with that and she left an hour later with $125.
∾ Heather 2006
Date: July 10, 2010 @ 12:47am PST
Superstitions Can Be Annoying
On my blackjack table I have a way of dealing the cards so that the bottom edge of my card is parallel to the straight edge of the table. This makes it easier for the floorman and the cameras to read the cards. I have been doing this for 5 years and I’m stubborn about it. There was one player that, when I dealt him his cards, he would move them so that they were facing sideways (this way the cards would seem straight to him and, also, this is the way most dealers would deal the cards). Me being my stubborn self, I couldn’t stand seeing the cards messed up so I would change it back. He got so pissed that he told me, “Don’t touch my cards! It’s bad luck!” I told him, “These are my cards, I have been touching them all day and if you have any bad luck it’s from your own stupidity, not from the position of the cards.”
∾ Heather 2008
Date: July 23, 2010 @ 10:03pm PST
A Fortunate Mistake
The first week I started dealing blackjack I was on a double deck table which was completely full. There was a pretty woman playing on 3
base and she was laughing and talking to her friends who were next to her. I dealt her 2 cards and she glanced at them and made the hitting motion. I had flipped the card half-way over when she jumped up and started waving her hands around screaming, “No! I made a mistake. Don’t!” By the time she had finished that sentence I had already given her the card and it was an ace. She flipped over her two cards to show a 20. She had hit a 20 and got an ace for 21. In the 5 years I’ve dealt blackjack I’ve never seen that happen again.
∾ Heather 2004
Date: June 9, 2010 @ 1:49am PST