Memorial Day Weekend

I was on the roulette table as a mucker on a busy Memorial Day weekend. The whole table was filled with college kids, all drunk and all having fun. The table was so full of people that you had trouble seeing past them. After a couple of hours of having these people on the table, the roulette dealer nudged me and said, “Do you see what that guy is doing?” I looked up and one of the drunk college kids was barely standing up with his pants unzipped and his dick hanging out. He had put an empty beer bottle on the ground and was trying to pee in it. It was hilarious because he was so drunk he peed all around the bottle; I don’t think one drop landed inside. I laughed so hard because he managed to pee on a woman’s leg while she was walking by and I don’t think she noticed. I called the floorman, who called security, who came and took the guy away. The poor drunk couldn’t figure out why the security guards were escorting him out.

~Heather 2005

The Way The Law Works

I was dealing Pai-gow one night when a co-worker of mine, another dealer, flew past me running as fast as he could. 5 security guards followed him and I saw him throw something in one of the trash cans that he passed on the way out the door. The security guards caught him and called the police. We found out later that this dealer was caught slipping several black chips into his pocket while he was working on the toke committee. That was what he threw in the trash can, the bag of black chips he stole that night. He had been working at this casino for 20 years and had been on the toke committee for 10 years. They found out that for the entire 10 years he was on the committee, this dealer had been pocketing several black chips per night. The total amount he stole was $5 million. He was fired and blacklisted from working in any casino in Las Vegas, but he wasn’t prosecuted or taken to jail. Why? Because the money he stole was the dealers not the casinos, so the casino couldn’t press charges. And the police couldn’t get all of the dealer’s to press charges (there was over 1,000 of us), so this dealer got away with the $5 million. Since he isn’t allowed to work in any casino again, he is probably living happily somewhere not working at all. Lucky.

~Heather 2005

 Paris Falls

I was working at a popular casino one night in October and was headed down to the break room when I saw Paris Hilton come out of the bathroom completely wasted. I heard she was there for her sister’s 21^st birthday party. She is walking back to the party with her entourage of security guards when she tripped and fell flat on her face, skirt went over her head, she had no underwear on and she was so drunk she couldn’t pick herself back up. So I’m looking at the security guards, expecting one of them to help her up… but nothing happens. They just stand there and watch. And Paris Hilton is on the ground whining and screaming and throwing her arms every which way, when a cocktail waitress finally comes over and helps her up. “Don’t touch me, you bitch! You just want to touch a celebrity! Don't touch me!” Paris shouted as she ripped her arm away from this girl’s helping hands. Then she stumbled away. I looked over to one of the body guards who was standing right next to me and asked, “What just happened?” The security guard smirked and replied, “Let me put it this way; the last time one of us helped her up he got fired. We are not allowed to touch her, look at her, or speak to her; we are only hired to make sure nobody hurts her.” Oh… I can see why, I thought, I am so happy I don’t have his job.

~Heather 2004

Late At Night

When you are at a casino late at night, make sure to look under the tables (and on the floors) for chips that people have dropped. There are plenty of times when we have a player so drunk that he drops his money and doesn’t realize it. The dealer’s and people who work at a casino are technically not allowed to pick them up, but you will see maintenance casually sweeping the chips into their dust pans for later. The most I ever saw was a $5,000 chip. I was new to the casino industry so the first thing I did was pick it up and yell “Look what I found!” My co-worker ran over and scolded me, “Why did you have to go and do that? Don’t pick it up! Now you have to go turn it in at the security station. You will never get any money now. The casino will hold it for 30 days and if no one claims it then the casino gets it. You should have waited until after your shift and then pick it up and hope no one sees you. Then you have to have someone turn it in for you. They won’t let you change that if you are an employee here.” “Damn.”

~Heather 2004

Did That Sting?

When I first started dealing blackjack, I was in a break-in house trying to learn all of the games (other than blackjack). One day I was being shadowed on roulette and I had a hard time learning how to spin the ball. (You are supposed to snap your fingers with the ball in between the thumb and the middle finger.) I would snap the ball out of the wheel, over the table and across the floor. At the time, I was on a dead game practicing, when this really cute guy walked up to the table and asked to play. I stop practicing and start dealing to this guy. Anytime I‘m on a live game learning, I get so nervous I make plenty of mistakes and I fumble a lot. I got to the part where I had to spin the ball and my nerves got the best of me. I snapped the ball and it flew out of the wheel and across the table. That hunky guy was standing up against the table and the ball hit him right in the groin area. He turned red (probably cause it stun) and then I turned red. He looked over at me and said, “Oh, so that’s where you were looking.” I turned a brighter shade of red, mumbled something intangible to the dealer, clapped out and hid down in the locker room for the rest of my break.

~Heather 2004

They Won't Remember Us

I was dealing blackjack on a Friday night when, out of nowhere, a man and a woman sprinted past the table pushing people away and knocking an old woman down. 4 security guards were chasing them trying to go as fast as they could. I was told later that the people were eventually wrestled down in the parking lot and taken to prison. Apparently, they had come in a couple times and cashed counterfeit checks. The cage cashiers finally got wise to the plan and when they came in a 3rd time to cash another bogus check; the cage cashier called security, who then called the police. The cashiers tried to stall the people for as long as possible, but when the couple saw the group of security guard’s heading towards them, they bolted.

~Heather 2004

Remember: Casinos Are Corporations

I was dealing Let It Ride to a woman who had never gambled before and had never been to Las Vegas before. Her husband brought her down for the first time and she was having a blast. She was playing $10 on all 3 hands plus she had a $5 bet on the 3 Card Bonus and she had the $1 bonus up as well. I dealt the hand and I asked her to see it, so I could help her play. She flipped over a 10, Queen, and Ace of hearts. “Oh great!” I said, “Tuck your cards, and leave it, you won! Great job! You got paid for a flush on your 3 Card Bonus, that’s $15.” She was so excited, she tucked her cards. I flipped over a Jack of hearts. Then I flipped the second card and it was a King of hearts, she got a Royal Flush. “Congratulations! You got a Royal Flush! Let’s see… that’s $50,000!” I told her. Her face grew into a huge smile and then, before anyone could stop her, she grabbed her cards, then grabbed my cards and ran to the craps tables to show her husband. I screamed at her to stop, my floorman screamed at her to stop and the players were yelling at her too. She was so excited she didn’t hear. When she got to her husband and showed him the cards he started screaming at her, “You don’t take the cards off the table! Now you’re disqualified! Why did you do that?” Unfortunately he was right; even though everyone saw her win; because she took the cards off the table she was automatically disqualified and lost the $50,000 win. Why would the casino do that? Because they are a corporation and they will look for any reason not to pay you.

~Tom 2008

My Money

I was dealing baccarat to a table full of Asian players who were betting a good amount of money. This older woman, who was sitting right in front of me, was betting the most at $500 per hand. She had at least $10,000 in chips in front of her. After playing and winning for a couple hours she finally put a $25 bet up for me on “Player”. I dealt the hand and “Player” won. Yea, I thought, a $50 tip. I paid the hands and started to reach for my tip when the Asian woman snatched the $50 and put the money in her pile. She looked down at her paper and acted like nothing happened. At first I was confused, and I said the first thing that came to mind. “You took my tip!” She looked up from her paper with an ugly expression on her face and screamed at me, “Not your money! My money!” Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do about it; I was so pissed.

~Heather 2004

What Happens In Vegas...

I was dealing blackjack and I had pair of young women at my table. They were friends and we were having a great time laughing and sharing stories together. Well, I asked the blond on the right what she did for a living and she said she was an F.B.I. agent. Then she told me story after story about all of these incredible cases she had; acting tough as she told them. I was a little suspicious of her because when I was a child, one of my dad’s friends was an F.B.I. agent, and I would look at his badge and listen to his stories all the time. Her stories sounded nothing like his, a little far-fetched if you ask me. “Can I see your badge?” I asked. She told me, “I’m only allowed to show my badge if I arrested you.” “Uh, huh” was the only thing I could reply with. After 10 minutes she got up to go to the bathroom. This was the perfect time to find out what the truth was, so I asked her friend, “Is she really an F.B.I. agent? She doesn’t seem like it.” Her friend started laughing and told me, “No, she’s not an F.B.I. agent. When we were on the flight up here we decided to make up a new character for ourselves. That was the character she made up.” “Oh, ok. So what does she really do then?” I asked a little curious. “Oh, that… She’s a stripper” the friend replied nonchalantly.

~Heather 2007

The Casino Freaked Out

When I first started dealing, I worked with this dealer who was also a newbie. She was beautiful, had a perfect body and long black hair but she wasn’t a very good dealer. That’s the thing about Las Vegas now days. If you are gorgeous and you have big boobs, the casino will hire you even if you can’t deal worth shit. Well, it ended up that she had a high roller playing on her table betting $500 a hand. After 4 hours he walked away with $30,000 and the management at that casino was pissed. They freaked out and immediately fired the dealer claiming that she and the player were scamming the casino together. They said that she had purposely showed her hole card to help him win. They told her they had the proof on video but when she asked to see the video they wouldn’t show it to her. She hired a lawyer and sued the casino for wrongful termination. I haven’t seen her since and I don’t know what happened.

~Heather 2004