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Las Vegas Stories - Archives: August 2010
Sometimes I’ll invite my grown daughters and their husbands to go to Las Vegas with me. I will never take the two youngest unless we're on a road trip and Vegas is a side stop. At the time, my youngest daughter was 18 and my youngest son was 13. This was in 2005 and South West Airlines was running a great deal; $49 each way from Tulsa, so the wife and I brought our two youngest kids with us. When we got to Vegas we drove to an off- strip hotel because we thought the kids might enjoy seeing a free aerial show there. As we walked through the hotel the girl saw an ultra-lounge with a huge line waiting to get in. She begged me to let her go in and she wouldn’t stop bugging me about it. In my wisdom, I thought that with the line being so long and her only being 18, she would never get in. I figured she could wait in line while we finished the show so I said, “Sure. Get in line.” About 15 minutes later we returned to the ultra-lounge line that looked to be 5 light years long. No girl anywhere! I ran up to the keeper of the velvet rope and asked him, “Did you let my daughter in?” He sarcastically answered, "I don't even know what she looks like." I motioned toward my wife and said, "She looks a lot like that woman standing next to the boy, but without the steam spewing from her ears". Evidently he's never watched National Geographic or saw someone gets between a mama bear and her cub otherwise he would know that he was about to be wearing his spleen as a hat.

He allowed me to ride the glass elevator to the top of the casino to search for the girl. The club was very dark and crowded. As I walked around I became mesmerized by this bikini clad girl dancing on this lit up coffee table. I couldn't find my daughter. I asked this guy that looked like a bouncer, “How do I get out of here?” In a thick Jersey accent with his arms wide open he said, "What, you want to leave?” My worst fears were realized. For a split second I thought that this was a front where teenage girls and their 56 year old fathers are kidnapped and sold into sex slavery. On the ride down in the glass elevator I weighed my options; I could throw myself to my death from this elevator or face my wife. When I got downstairs I couldn’t find my wife and son. I walked around and finally found them in a trance like state staring at a bikini clad girl dancing above the bar. The 3 of us continued walking through the casino until we finally found our daughter in a hypnotic state staring at this bikini clad girl dancing above a different bar. We must live a sheltered life.
~Stoney 2005 line
Date: August 24, 2010 @ 1:03pm PST     Comments     Filed Under: Unexpected
high limit sign As I walked through a strip casino I passed the craps tables and noticed a show girl standing there wearing her outfit and hat. I walked up to her and asked, “I’m curious, is your hat heavy?” She replied, “Yes, it’s very heavy.” Then in a sultry voice she asked, “Do you want to play craps?” I obediently nodded my head yes and in a meek voice I said, "OK". Within 30 minutes I lost $600 on that craps table. Then I went full tilt. Trying to chase my losses I went into the High Limit room (without the showgirl) and tried playing blackjack. In an hour I lost $5,400; so in 90 minutes I lost a total of $6,000. This is not the worse gambling loss I've ever suffered but it ranks right up there.
~Stoney line
Date: August 14, 2010 @ 1:18pm PST     Comments     Filed Under: Luck, Mistakes
In Las Vegas prostitution is illegal. I know people come here thinking that prostitution is legal but they’re actually thinking of nearby counties that are an hour or so away from Las Vegas. Even though it’s illegal we have a large amount of prostitutes and escort companies. As a dealer you will see the same prostitutes hanging around the same bars night after night. Or you will have a player come up to the table with a prostitute you know and he will introduce her as his niece or something. It’s so hard to keep a straight face and accept their story.

One night I had a player sit down at the table with a very beautiful young woman. She was dressed in a long sparkly dark blue dress; she had blond hair and a blue green eye shadow. The gentleman was much older; he was in his 50’s or 60’s with grey hair and really winkled. He was one of those types of men that didn’t age well. They sat down together and he introduced her as his wife. After playing for a couple hours he got up and went to the bathroom. While we were waiting for him to come back she looked at her watch and said, “Oh, we’re late for a dinner reservation. I’ll meet him at the bathroom so we won’t be late.” She took his chips and headed for the bathroom. I was new to the industry so I didn’t think anything of it. When the husband came back he was furious that she left and took his money. That was when he admitted that she was a prostitute. Nothing happened. Security couldn’t find the woman and the man lost out on all his chips.

This happens more than you think; that’s why there’s a procedure for dealers to follow. I found out about this immediately after the last scenario. A dealer will never allow anyone to touch your money when you leave the table. This includes your wife, children and friends. I had one wife try to play with her husband’s chips while he was in the bathroom. She tried to play $100 per hand and before her husband was playing $25 per hand. I told her I couldn’t allow her to play with his money because he wasn’t there to authorize it. The wife was so mad she started screaming at me. When the husband came back and saw his wife upset he started screaming at me too. I couldn’t get a word in. It’s a double edge sword.
~Heather 2004 line
Date: August 12, 2010 @ 11:39am PST     Comments     Filed Under: Casino Procedures, Cheating, Lying
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